I’d Tell Her

I’d tell her to allow herself to feel it while she’s going through it, and express that feeling, instead of burying it or dissociating through it all so it comes back later in often worse ways.
I’d tell her that she is loved and deserves love.
I’d tell her she is doing her very best and that is all that is expected of her, and more.
I’d tell her that things will work out, maybe not how she wants them to, or expects them to, but they will shift and work out in ways that she can’t fathom yet.
I’d tell her that crying is okay, more than okay, a skill, one she needs to get more comfortable with in the abhorrent discomfort.
I’d tell her that others will believe her, that others will still love her and will want to support her through it.
I’d tell her that it also doesn’t matter what other people think.
I’d tell her that she does survive this, even the parts that she sometimes doesn’t want to survive, that somehow, some way, she does survive.
I’d tell her to listen to her gut, that she is wiser than she thinks at times.
I’d tell her that her body is not the enemy in this, that she can trust it.
I’d tell her, again, that it’s okay to feel, that feeling is a must and she is so valid in these feelings.
I’d tell her that she is going to be okay, that, yes, some things in this will never be okay, and sometimes okay won’t look like she thought it would, but overall and even outside of the not okay parts, she is going to be okay.
I’d tell her that, within herself at least, she is safe, that she belongs, that she is enough.
And I’d tell her that she is stronger than she knows and, even when she feels weak, she is being strong enough for herself to get through this.
I’d tell her that she will get through this. She really will.
(and all the while I’m telling myself right now, and not fully, truly, believing it, but knowing that she, the me of yesteryear, didn’t believe it either)

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