a hopeless night

image © Mariann Martland

image © Mariann Martland

I find myself lying on the hard, cold floor,
Wearing only an oversized shirt and leftover tears;
Staring at the blank ceiling,
Counting the black spots between the light,
Which add to only one;
Drawing lines with my eyes to forge a map home,
Erased by my lingering etch-a-sketch blinks,
and repeat, repeat, repeat;
Lost,
Feeling more found within the empty, desolate spaces.
My eyes still burning from sobbing, hard,
So hard that I felt I would not stop
And my breath would never be steady again.
Then, there on the ground
I heard my silence,
My breath falling through me, slower, still,
Aching yet numb,
Back from an unknown place
Where I drifted between the wailing and the now.
I know not where it was,
But it delivered me, knowing,
That hope can sometimes only be found
By travelling through these hopeless spaces
Of feeling, releasing,
Surrender.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “a hopeless night

I'd love to hear from you...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s