Sometimes I think far too much about death and life feels like a faraway dream.
There are days when the sun is shining and I wish it were cold.
I colour outside of the lines and often push down too hard on my crayons, causing them to snap.
I swear a whole fucking lot, mostly for emphasis, but occasionally to express my frustration.
And, I enjoy it.
Dried up white roses have been sitting in a vase in my room for months. I think they look beautiful.
I’ve felt lonely nearly every day of my life, and still, half of the time I just want to be left alone.
I love the ocean, but I’m afraid of water.
I don’t like my body.
No, I don’t want to explain all of the many, many, many reasons why or tell you all of the ways I’m working at embracing it.
I actually enjoy turbulence on an aeroplane – I think maybe I feel more at home there.
The song “Smile” makes my blood boil.
When my heart is breaking I don’t think I should always have to fake a smile.
And yes, I know it’s your favourite song, and no, I don’t think any less of you for it.
Yesterday I ate chocolate for breakfast (or was it lunch by then…?).
Once when my friend screamed in fear on a rollercoaster, I was thinking that was what freedom might feel like.
Sometimes I have to read in reverse verse order to absorb the words.
I bite my nails, mostly when I’m anxious, which is, well, let’s just say my nails are rarely long.
I believe there are no less than twenty thousand additional flaws I could add to this list.
Yeah, mostly I think that sucks,
But I know I’m not perfect and I’ll never be ‘normal’.
Some days I cannot push past these walls of shame that surround me.
Some days my tightly-knotted web, my tangled mass of crap, distorts my entire view of myself and the world.
Other days I embrace my imperfect nuances,
Because they make me uniquely me
And (I like to believe), just like everybody else.