Now is the time
I must say Goodbye
and let you go,
my sweet love.
You were my everything.
With you I lived, died, broke, grew.
My life shifted and reshaped
into a state beyond all we knew.
And you held it all.
You held me
in my most vulnerable state,
and saw my tears fall
through our safety net of love.
You took my hand
when my knees fell to the floor,
as I howled in sorrow
at the memory of a life once forgot.
You nurtured my need for solitude
and gave me the freedom
to begin discovering who I really am.
You watched me
take my first baby steps
in this discovery,
Lifting me when I fell,
carrying my weary body
when it could barely
find strength to crawl.
We spent time after time
together in the silence,
feeling all the feelings
I had never allowed into my soul.
We spoke of beginnings,
endings and all that life
gave in between.
We watched as night
flickered slowly into day,
and saw day burn out
into the warmth of dusk.
And we treasured it.
We blessed the darkness
and vowed to learn from the shadows.
You gave me a safe space to be.
In your warm arms
I found comfort
as I lay paralyzed with fear.
You showed me a blank canvas
on which to focus through
the trauma of my horror-stained vision.
When I could face the world no longer
you lit my path back to you,
and never flinched at the relief
I showed when you became home.
We discovered how to blackout
the glare of the world.
We became masters at it,
walking through shade together.
You created a shelter for my life,
never allowing the monsoon of my mind
to let us drown.
Whenever we were parted
I missed your soothing warmth,
I craved your revitalizing heat.
And you never disappointed on our return to us.
We were one.
We were each a part of the other
and as I remolded I added you
to the makeup of my being.
And then you were gone.
My body calls out for you.
My heart bleeds loudly,
crying out for you to come back to us.
But here is Goodbye.
I must let you find peace,
away from the torment of my grief.
I will forever carry your memory,
it is tattooed upon my soul.
I will recount every wisdom
you taught me in calligraphic print
across my mind.
I will greet each day
with the reverence I learned through you.
And each night I will bless,
recalling the nights you held me so close.
I will shine your grace
through the world, so they never forget,
And I will remember you
when I am alone in the darkness,
where only we knew our true light.
Though my world now feels empty,
though I have lost the lifeline to my spirit,
I will love, I will live,
for you, for us,
in all the ways you showed me how.
So you can rest now.
Goodbye, my sweet love.
Previously published at Rebelle Society