When did we begin? (Everything Changed)

When did we begin?
I do not recall.
I do not remember the moment when we became
Us.
I do not have that memory
Of when I began loving you
More than any soul in the universe.

Maybe it always was so,
Even before we met.
Before you held me.
Maybe we were destined
To be the light in the others’ eyes.
Or maybe you pulled me in with your magnetic clutch
When I was safe with another.

Regardless,
We were
Us.

You were home.
When I had no physical space to give this name,
You were home.
When I found a house to crawl to,
You were still
Home.

Giving me warmth, shelter, safety, comfort,
Life.

Then, in an instant,
Everything changed.

You remained a part of me.
You continued to live within me.

But
Everything
Changed. 

You became my nightmare.
You were always my nightmare.
Everything changed.

You,
My darkest night.
You began to crawl into my senses,
Poisoning me.
Turning off the light.

Every thought of you,
Loss.
Every whisper,
Grief.
Every picture,
Terror.
Every memory,
Pain.

Every

Thing

Changed

I believed you done,
For me to pick up and process.
Only to find I was, again, wrong.
Finding the worst terror you gave me,
The one that burnt down my life,
Was merely warming me for the main event

When you took my ashes, burnt me further,
Melted them down,
Then froze me,
And crushed,
My life
Into a thousand tiny, ash-made pieces. 

Everything changed.
I crumbled.
Again.
Everything changed.
Again.

All the while gripped within your clutches,
With you
Still living.
The fire remaining within,
Burning me down.

You might not be done.
This may still be a warm up,
The next explosion could be greater.

Everything could change,
Again.
You could ruin me,
Again.

You have begun.
When did we begin?

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